Your silence is tacit approval

I just had a little teaching moment with a younger male colleague about shutting down an inappropriate "joke" that came on a call he had with a general contractor about a female design team member.

His position (and I think many men go this route when they aren't taught to do otherwise) was to remain silent. As he put it, "do not engage." What he didn't realize, and I know he's not alone in this, is that his silence is tacit approval of this kind of "joke."

The burden of objecting to sexist or racist or ableist or other derogatory "jokes" often falls to the people in the oppressed group, while the people who can leverage their social privilege remain quiet. I will object all the live-long day when someone makes "jokes" like this in my presence, but I know it has more power when that objection comes from someone who has more privilege to leverage. I might get written off as "oh, she's just PMSing" or "she's hormonal" or "it must be that time of the month" or some other sexist nonsense if I speak up, but my white straight cis male colleague will be taken more seriously.

Men out there: gender equity in the workplace is not the burden of women and non-binary people alone. You need to speak up.

White people out there: racial equity in the workplace is not the burden of black and brown people alone. You need to speak up.

Straight people out there: sexual identity equity in the workplace is not the burden of LGBTQ+ people alone. You need to speak up.

Able-bodied people out there:  ableist equity in the workplace is not the burden of disabled people alone. You need to speak up.

Time to rock that boat. (And while you're at it, rock the vote!)